cre8trix

The only difference between me and the Surrealists is that I am a Surrealist. - Salvador Dalí

2009-05-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since my last confession. Sometimes I am afraid to write what I think about - putting it in writing gives the thoughts a concreteness that the spoken or unspoken word doesn't carry. Plus, what I think about is more navel gazing than deep or interesting. Roy's blog - check it out if you haven't: roytography.blogspot.com - is always very interesting, not "and now I am doing this" like mine tends to be. Not that it matters, I suppose, I am not writing for publication or accolades.

This is my newest painting, "je sais maintenant" (I know now). It is 4' x 5', acrylic on canvas. Yes, it is another self portrait, and yes, my hair was that red. I learned some hard lessons when I was 18 (about the time of the photo I used) which makes me think of lessons that my 18 year old son will have to learn. Hopefully, not the hard way, but knowing any teenager, it will be. Knowing him, definitely. He is brilliant, but emotionally like any other human. I sometimes think that as intelligence increases, so does sensitivity. Not in a puppy, crying sort of way - but to feeling pain - or even to knowing all the (predominantly bad) possibilities in life. Knowledge is not always power, sometimes it is full of paralyzing realities. Luckily, for me, I met Roy - who is and always has been, my saving grace. It is because of him I didn't curl up into a fetal position and stay there when I was 18, and because of him that I laugh abundantly now. I do know now, but it doesn't hold any power over me anymore.

The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance. - Aristotle

2009-01-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

These pics were taken (by Roy, of course) in the AIM studio, in Building 10 at the Lorton Arts Workhouse. I was just finishing my mixed media piece "Inside My Head".

The outside (of my head) draws from Mexican Dia de los Muertos Imagery. The side panels being photos (again, Roy) of Dia de los Muertos skulls and the front and back with my skull inserted and done up in that style (back panel).

Inside, the same phrase is repeated over and over in different languages "Inside my head are jumbled wires. Somehow, my heart beats, I breathe, I see. Somehow, I am me." Amidst this phrase, my jumbled-wire brain sits in it's multi-colored glory; looking as messy as possible, while still keeping a brainy appearance.

All this was painted and collaged over a "Punch" cigar box, complete with a warning, that in the end, I decided to paint over, despite finding it hilariously appropriate. If only we all came with a warning sticker. Caution: this is Miss Worst-Case-Scenario girl who may damage your patience level if exposed to for more than 24 hours. Pointing out which jumbled wires aren't firing correctly would keep the public making an informed decision whether or not to interact with each other. Ahhh - but where's the fun in that?

Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. - Stella Adler

2008-12-29T17:52:00.000-08:00

Roy & I went to the Fritz Scholder exhibit at the National Museum of the American Indian and I was just blown away! You can check out part of it at http://www.nmai.si.edu/exhibitions/scholder/works.html - but it really has to be seen in person. Fantastic. I probably wouldn't have seen it at all if my bff from grade school in Michigan, Jennifer Tozer, hadn't found me on Facebook (ok, so it isn't just a time sucker). She works there and invited us down and gave us the tour. God, you could just feel the intensity in the paint. Seeing his paintings totally opened me up to experimenting with color more boldly than I have been.

I really embody Stella Adler's quote. I feel like life has been trying to crush my soul, I have spent years sleepwalking and retreating inside myself until little of me showed through. But painting has reminded me of myself and is the best therapy there is.

“I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.” - Steven Wright

2008-09-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

Here I am at the Lorton Arts Workhouse Gallery opening - what a great place! The conversion of prison cells to artist studios & gallery spaces is fantastic! I am pleased to have "hung Nathan at Lorton" (ha) and I really hope to be able to have a studio here someday. The incarcerated suffragettes were on my mind as I toured studios with filled with so many incredible women artists. We've come a long way, baby!

I started my first painting class at the Vander Zee School of Painting in Old Town yesterday, and I am super excited! First, let me say I admire his abstract landscapes very much - see vanderzeegallery.com to check him out yourself. Second, he is very inspiring - his enthusiasm is evident and you just can't help but be buoyed by his wave of good energy. Third, and most importantly - I am finally learning things about the process, which was never a part of any class I took before. Plus - I am trying oils for the first time since college, and after the demonstration yesterday, I can't wait! Lots of ideas are jammed inside me, I am filled to overflowing and couldn't be happier! Okay, well, I could - but who cares?
Ever since Art in the Pages I have been meeting so many wonderful, diverse artists. (Check out Chris Appleton & Karen Ching) They are inspirational instead of competitive, which is a HUGE difference from anything I have experienced before and I love it! I have that feeling when I talk about art, writing, life theories with Nathan - but he moved to California, so afternoons of Bloodies and Philosophy are on hold for a while ;P

Shout out section:
Roy & Meagan are also incredibly inspirational to me. Roy has taken on the mantle of Patron, and is endlessly providing whatever I need. Money, praise, constant reassurance. If I could just stop spending so much money! Meagan prods me out of my spiritual box and makes me say things like "good energy" in normal discourse.

If you are still reading this, a gift - the poem I title my mini statuette (Daughter of the Elements) after:

Song Of The Flower XXIII
- Khalil Gibran

I am a kind word uttered and repeated
By the voice of Nature;
I am a star fallen from the Blue tent
upon the green carpet.
I am the daughter of the elements
With whom Winter conceived;
To whom Spring gave birth; I was
Reared in the lap of Summer and I

Slept in the bed of Autumn.

At dawn I unite with the breeze
To announce the coming of light;
At eventide I join the birds
In bidding the light farewell.

The plains are decorated with
My beautiful colors, and the air
Is scented with my fragrance.

As I embrace Slumber the eyes of
Night watch over me, and as I
Awaken I stare at the sun, which is
The only eye of the day.

I drink dew for wine, and hearken to
The voices of the birds, and dance
To the rhythmic swaying of the grass.

I am the lover's gift; I am the wedding wreath;
I am the memory of a moment of happiness;
I am the last gift of the living to the dead;
I am a part of joy and a part of sorrow.

But I look up high to see only the light,
And never look down to see my shadow.
This is wisdom which man must learn.

insomnia & me; bff's!!!!

2008-09-21T22:03:00.001-07:00

mwf in search of zzzzzzzz's - must be available immediately and ready to commit to a nightly 8hour relationship. walks on the beach, trips to paris & flights of fancy included.

...and still the slumberer laid moaning! (all apologies to the slumbering stevie smith)